December 29, 2002
Ain't going back
haha... i'm slowly getting hpynotized by the theme from the two towers... the drama of the violins, the force drums and cymbals, all echoing the epic, conjuring up that gargantuan image of whole armies clashing into each other... coolness... =P
i can't believe i'm doing this, i'm not booking in today!!! instead, i'm booking in tmr, before 8. porb the most beautiful thing abt this, is that i get to choose when i want to drag myself back into camp. and sometimes, simply having a choice makes all the difference.
didn't manage to do much this weekend... going to stay up to watch the liverpool vs arsenal match =P still want to catch Two Weeks Notice before it ends its run... don't want to break my own run of RC's now.
***
check out sonia's new layout *WAH!!!*
Posted by zai at 07:50 PM
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December 25, 2002
Got Mail
booked into an empty bunk two hours before the end of christmas day... flicked on the tv and there she was : Meg Ryan at a checkout counter in a supermarket.
heh, it took me a while to realise, that yes, it's that show... couldn't have asked for a better way to end an otherwise uneventful day that was supposed to be filled with magic and wonder. the show carried just enough charm and spell with it to send me to bed with that special feeling you get when you reach the end of a fairy tale story. got me believing again, which was the nicest gift i got that day.
Posted by zai at 12:59 PM
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December 23, 2002
Livin on a Prayer
ah my dear sis... what have you done this time... tomorrow's dinner is going to be so much fun =)
Posted by zai at 10:06 PM
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December 22, 2002
Need to breathe
i just need to get this out : i think the ps course is a bloody waste of time!!!
argh... when we have discussions like 'the tasks of a platoon sergeant', for those who have already gone thru the role of a ps, it's like been there done that, what's there to talk abt? and for those of us who haven't even set foot into a unit, what can we contribute? in the end we just read off from a book, which really makes the discussion redundant.
and don't even get me started on the grand operations we conduct on the table top.
plus, being such a mix bunch of trainees, there is permeating attitude of heck-careness... everyone's like to each his own... i'm starting to go 'ah whatever...' too much already... it's just frustrating and stifling...
thought i'd escape meaninglessness... but i find myself typing out the answers to a case study on '100% Pass! Personal Glory or Care for Soldiers?' as i write this blog...
***
we always try to find some meaning in the things that happen to us, in the things that we do. always in the belief, or with hope, that it matters.
***
like the shadow of the clouds that will pass
Posted by zai at 08:40 PM
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December 15, 2002
Hovering
finally managed to get the CD-R playing on the mini hi-fi in my room!! yeah!!! this means that i'll get to listen to all of my fav songs that i've downloaded from the net... don't have to spend so much on CDs from now on. am shipping in my discman and charger into camp this week too, now i've got my books and music all in the same place =)
not that i'll be able to enjoy those stuff anytime soon... the coming week is going to be really crazy... two drill sessions per day, two outfields back to back and all that planning inbetween... am going to have to do another one of those hold-your-breath-til-the-week-ends thing...
making progress on my christmas presents... finally found a way to lock the stupid gel into place =P not sure if i'll get them out this time around, everyone's everywhere nowadays...
***
cry for you
Posted by zai at 08:44 PM
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December 14, 2002
Lucky
OMG!! nick bantock has continued the griffin and sabine triology with a fourth book!!! if anyone wants to make me really happy this christmas, it's called 'The Gryphon'. =) stumbled upon it at kino when i was out with mervin and mc. was just browsing thru that special corner of special books, with the intention of seeing the three g&s books being displayed nicely on the shelfs. it was then that i noticed that there was an oddity in the form of a book with the exact format and style as the other three... my dream come true... the story continues!! =)
in addition, i chanced upon s club 7's 4th album!!! possibily their last, which makes it even more special. have this unique affinity for the grp, guess cos their songs resonate so well with me. plus my first real theme song came from them, quite unforgettable. =P
so glad i didn't go watch a movie, this will prob be the most fulfilling wandering around orch rd i'll ever have for a long while.
Posted by zai at 11:06 PM
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December 12, 2002
If you're lost...
went to sentosa for the school anni. if only the whole aisl course was still in school, that would really rock the party. heh, really grateful for the lift home on ys's car. it's quite cool how our wing instructors just disappear from the scene of the crime within 5 mins from falling out, zooming out in a nice little convoy of two cars.
heard the song 'time after time' being played at the bar on the beach. it brought a smile to my face, don't know why... it's just one of those songs that trigger my mind to think back to the past, reflecting on dreams i thought i've moved on from. it didn't help that i managed to catch an episode of 'you're under arrest' this evening. the theme song just gets me into that stupid mood. it's abt exactly a year since i first heard it, and the line, 'i don't want them to be memories yet.' has stuck with me ever since.
insecurity. homelessness. sigh.
***
if you fall, i will catch you,
i will be waiting...
Posted by zai at 08:22 PM
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December 11, 2002
I'm an AI trooper!!
question : do i look and act like a tankee to you? (definition of a tankee : someone who never dismounts, never runs, never chiongs cos he's at the vehicle hide taking cover inside his vehicle. =). well, it was just painful to watch the shocked expressions on the faces of my syndicate members when i finally announced that, "i'm AI leh...". response : "you AI??? you don't look like the type who chiongs leh..."
*shrugs* i guess you can't have everything in life...
meanwhile, i'm just totally exhausted from spending two days drawing map overlay after map overlay... actually it's the crazy back-and-forth discussion abt the stuff we have to do that crashes it. let it be known that i've always been a fervent supporter of the benevolent dictator style of doing things. talking is a waste of time, just pull the trigger. =P
Posted by zai at 09:51 PM
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December 08, 2002
What's going on
been thinking alot abt bowling, the feeling you get when you release a rev-ed up, high speed, 14 pound ball down the lane. and of being part of a choir, when you just let loose your voice and it soars across the hall. not that any of this is new to me... i guess when i'm left alone, my mind just wonders to the things i really had so much fun doing in the past... reason in part because i don't think i'll be liking what's coming for the next few weeks...
not that it's tough or anything... just that life's been so devoid of meaning of late... haven't been feeling in snyc with the things i do... *shrug*
***
songs in my playlist :
Lifehouse - Everything
John Rzeznik - I'm Still Here
BBMak - Always Know Where You Are
All-Star Tribute - What's Going On
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Posted by zai at 05:46 PM
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December 05, 2002
Out of step
hoping to be right, seeking to be accepted, wishing to be different, to be special, yearning to walk freely, wanting to stand on my own feet, needing the energy to run forever, anticipating the day i can break free...
i can really be too much sometimes... just when i've found someone who is willing to run by my side, i begin to ask why can't everyone in the world be like that...
guess that little kid is still in me... the 'no-i-don't-want-to-go-back-to-school' strain of childish dread... hai...
Posted by zai at 09:35 PM
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December 02, 2002
Cruising
erm, this log of sorts is going to revert back to its weekender status... am now going for another course til next year... bleah! oh well, at least i have something to look forward to.
so in brief before i get locked away for the week : treasure planet was not bad, but i think i've outgrown disney movies, shifting my allegiance full time to the romantic comdey genre =P sophie's world was just, erm, woah... so that's were the stardust thing came from. christmas is coming... stlil haven't found those transparent tubes i need to make presents... have found the title to the song i've been searching for literally years though, O Fortuna... phy/lit lunch for the four (!!) of us was nice..
sigh... how on earth did liverpool lose...!!!!!!
***
I'm still here.
Posted by zai at 05:45 AM
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